Emotional Journey of a Newly Wed

The days when I speak to my friend, philosopher and guide (all three of them being different people) are the days that give me solace on a level that I underestimated all this while. Talking to them, makes my day complete. What feels completely normal to me now, wasn’t the same a couple of months ago.

A few days into being a “newly-wed” I believed that my life revolved around the four people I share the home with. When you’ve known all along that there will come a day when you’ll be married and shall move to a new home you believe that in someway, all these years of conditioning, would have prepared you for what lies ahead.
However, THAT IS “NOT” the case.

I’d assumed that since a new phase of life had officially begun, this was all I would have to think about. Adjust, accommodate, be grateful and repeat. It’s not as simple as it sounds. It’s an emotional journey that will get overwhelming and unmanageable at times.

Here are a few lessons I’ve learned in this short journey of being married-

1. When you step into a new surrounding and begin living with people that you now call ‘family’, the only way you can make this herculean task easier is by being who you are. I swear. It simplifies things to a whole new level. Don’t feel burdened to complete tasks. Do them at your own pace.
2. Hold onto your emotional anchors. A 5min conversation with them can change your entire perspective towards the day, a particular incident or life in general. This is a shoutout to three women in my life who’ve been with me on this journey, throughout.
3. Stepping into a new life is indeed a sudden transformation but laying a foundation for these new-found relationships will take time. Take, and give that time.
4. Take baby steps to comminicate to your partner how you feel about your day or life in general. It’s essentially HIS home and he wouldn’t necesarrily see things from the same perspective that you do. Don’t blame him for that.
5. It’s okay to not feel at home immediately. Cut yourself some slack!
6. Take initiative in involving yourself in the daily routine as you’d do back home. It helps because to feel at home you have to behave like you’re home.
7. Don’t give all at once. Do it one step at a time.
8. Ultimately, there’s nothing that builds faith and trust in a relationship like thoughts that are translated into actions. Your gestures, big or small, will not go unnoticed. Moreover, when your heart is in the right place then what’s there to worry about.

It’s imperative for you to realise that just as it’s not easy to open the doors of our hearts all at once, it’s similar for the family that you’ve stepped into.

Having said all of that, It’s important that empathy exists at all times, from both sides.

The only moment from the wedding that I broke down! This is the ceremony where the brother carries his sister to the room, where she eventually starts getting ready as a bride.